Welcoming Anxiety: How to Transform Fear into Growth
For years, I struggled with anxiety. I had no idea what it was. The typical “fish in water doesn’t know what water is, until he is out.” I was that fish. My water was anxiety. I tried to resolve the discomfort on my own by avoiding situations that made me anxious (only realizing now that I was making the matter worse).
Part of my anxiety stemmed from a feeling that I was always “in-the-wrong”. I would strive for perfection, but always landed subpar (in my own opinion). I remember completing a psychological eval and having a sense of relief, “Finally, I will have someone (this psychologist), see what I am dealing with and give me some answers. He sat in his chair with his legs crossed (the typical psychologist posture) and looked over my evaluation results. He looked up with a distraught look on his face and said, “These results are all wrong. You walked in here looking so professional and put together. These results don’t line up with your presentation at all.” I thought to myself, “What kind of Dr. is this?! Do you think I lied for shits and giggles?”
Over the years, I got really good at masking my internal experience. I would walk into a large room of people and attempt to engage conversation. Internally I felt like fire alarms were going off but externally I masked it and looked cool, calm, and collected. Without a solution, I decided to just show up and tell myself, “fake it until you make it”.
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even frightening—but what if it could also be your greatest teacher? Understanding anxiety from a neurological perspective helps us see it not as a personal failing, but as a signal from your brain’s threat-detection system: the amygdala.
Why Am I Experiencing Anxiety?
When anxiety hits, it’s your amygdala sounding the alarm. It detects a potential threat and sends signals throughout your body: racing heart, tight chest, shallow breath. While this response can feel dangerous, it’s actually your brain preparing you to respond to a challenge.
But here’s the crucial insight: the amygdala doesn’t distinguish between real threats and perceived threats. This is where safety learning comes in. Safety learning is the process of voluntarily exposing yourself to the sensation of anxiety, signaling to your brain that the threat isn’t actually dangerous. The more you approach and embrace anxiety instead of avoiding it, the more your amygdala learns that it’s safe.
Turning Anxiety Into an Opportunity
So, how do you practice safety learning? Here are three actionable steps:
1. Reframe the Feeling
Instead of judging anxiety as something to suppress or escape, see it as an opportunity to practice, grow, and gain mastery over your reactions. Anxiety is not your enemy—it’s your body asking you to pay attention.
2. Fully Feel the Alarm
Notice where tension shows up in your body—your chest, shoulders, stomach. Breathe into the tension and exhale slowly. By doing so, you’re telling your amygdala: “I notice the alarm, and I’m not in danger.” Each breath through the anxiety is a message of safety to your brain.
3. Embrace the Challenge
Lean into the uncomfortable sensations instead of seeking instant relief. Avoidance may temporarily reduce anxiety, but it strengthens the amygdala’s alarm system for next time. Each time you confront anxiety directly, the intensity diminishes, and your brain learns that you can handle the challenge. This process—also known as habituation—gradually trains your nervous system to remain calm under stress.
When Anxiety Peaks: Panic Attacks
Panic attacks are the amygdala’s highest alert, triggered when it perceives a significant threat. They are intense, but the same principles of safety learning apply: noticing, breathing through, and accepting the sensations. Over time, this approach reduces the frequency and severity of episodes.
The Takeaway
Anxiety is not a weakness—it’s a signal. By leaning into it, breathing through it, and allowing yourself to fully experience it, you rewire your brain to see these “threats” as manageable. The next time anxiety arises, remember: this is your opportunity to grow, to practice safety learning, and to reclaim a sense of control over your mind and body.
Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical or therapeutic advice. If you are struggling with severe anxiety, panic attacks, or other mental health concerns and would like help with the experience, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or your healthcare provider.