How You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything
Freedom isn’t about quitting one bad habit.
It’s about becoming the kind of man who shows up the same way—everywhere.
The same presence you bring to your workout in the morning is the presence you bring to your work.
The same brain you use to focus during prayer is the one you bring to the dinner table with your family.
And the same muscles you build when you ride out a craving for porn are the ones that help you resist peanut butter M&Ms in the Denver airport.
This is the integrated life.
The whole-life program.
Body, mind, and spirit—training together.
Because how you do one thing is how you do everything.
The Avoidance of Suffering
A mentor of mine, Dr. Bob Schuchts, once said: “All sin is a result of avoiding suffering.”
That line reasonated with me.
Let me give you an example: Why do we lie?
Because our brain tells us the truth would hurt more.
Why do we numb?
Because we believe being present with our pain would be unbearable.
Why do we run back to old habits?
Because the moment we feel discomfort, our reflex is to escape it.
But growth only happens when we stay.
Freedom is built in the moments we don’t run.
Every time you breathe through discomfort, you’re building the emotional muscle that can carry weight in every other area of life.
The Denver Airport and the M&Ms
This past Sunday night, my flight got delayed, and I was stuck in the Denver airport longer than I wanted. After wandering around for a good 45 minutes, I finally found the healthiest dinner I could. It wasn’t glamorous, but it lined up with my ideals—fueling my body, not just feeding my hunger.
But then, after eating, I got hit with a craving.
Not for porn.
Not for alcohol.
Just for something chocolatey. Peanut butter M&Ms.
It wasn’t a mild craving, either. I walked into a couple different stores—twice—checking prices, scanning shelves. The craving was real.
Part of what stopped me, honestly, was the price tag. Inflation plus airport pricing is no joke. But the deeper reason I didn’t cave was this: I knew I was being invited to train.
The same neural circuitry that fires when I crave junk food is the same one that fires when I crave porn, validation, or escape. It’s all the same mechanism. The question isn’t, “How do I get rid of craving?”
The question is, “What kind of man do I want to be in the presence of craving?”
So in that moment, I did what we teach in The Freedom Group:
I remembered the man I’m becoming—healthy, disciplined, free.
I reframed the craving as an opportunity to grow.
I practiced presence, noticing what I felt in my body.
I got curious about what was underneath the craving.
And I welcomed the discomfort instead of resisting it.
Eventually, the craving passed.
And I walked away stronger—not because I avoided temptation, but because I faced it, named it, and welcomed it.
Freedom Is a Lifestyle
This is what freedom looks like.
It’s not just about porn. It’s about how you live.
The same habits of awareness, presence, and self-control that keep you free in your sexuality will also:
Keep you patient with your kids.
Keep you grounded at work.
Keep you honest when it would be easier to spin the truth.
Freedom isn’t compartmentalized—it’s cultivated.
Every craving resisted becomes a rep.
Every moment of discomfort endured becomes strength gained.
Every time you choose presence over escape, you reinforce who you’re becoming.
That’s the man who’s free—not because he never feels the craving, but because he knows how to ride it.
The Challenge
So here’s the question:
Where’s God inviting you to train presence today?
Maybe it’s not in the gym. Maybe it’s not in your sexuality. Maybe it’s in the way you reach for your phone, or your tone at the dinner table, or your impulse to fill silence with noise.
Whatever it is, ride the wave.
Don’t flee it.
Welcome it.
Because the same man who can ride a craving for peanut butter M&Ms…
can ride any craving that tries to pull him away from who he’s called to become.