You’re Not Tired — You’re Under-Challenged
My wife just got back from a four-day retreat at The Cloisters on the Platte — or as some people call it, The Ritz on the Platte.
It was bougie. It was beautiful. And honestly? She loved it. It gave her exactly what she needed.
It got me thinking, though. I went to the same retreat back in January — and left feeling… well, a little flaccid.
(Not the best word, but let’s call it what it is.)
It was peaceful. It was quiet. But something in me left dull, not sharpened. And that contrast lit something up in me.
Here’s the thought I can’t shake:
In a world where men are slowly being put to death by comfort…
What we need isn’t more retreat.
What we need is resistance.
Not artificial suffering. Not macho nonsense. But real, meaningful discomfort — the kind that wakes you up and calls you out.
Most men I talk to aren't burned out because life is too hard.
They’re anxious, depressed, and checked out because life is too soft.
We’re living in a postmodern, suburban, whitewashed world that’s stripped us of challenge… and with it, our masculinity.
And in that vacuum, a lie creeps in.
A lie that many men believe:There’s a lie that many men believe:
“I just need to release some pressure… then I’ll feel better.”
So we turn to porn. Or masturbation. Or food. Or a scroll through TikTok or Instagram.
Something quick. Something easy. Something that numbs.
But let’s be real — after the release, you don’t feel better.
You feel more hollow. Weaker. More out of alignment with the man you were made to be.
So what’s really going on?
The Real Problem: You’re Too Damn Comfortable
I know that sounds backwards. But it’s true.
Porn isn’t just about lust.
It’s about escape.
It’s about an under-challenged man trying to feel alive.
Too much ease, not enough resistance. Too much comfort, not enough purpose.
You weren’t made to coast. You were made to carry weight.
I’ve heard it said that men are like trailers. They drive straighter with some weight on them.
Redirection Over Release
When anxiety, restlessness, or pressure builds, most men default to release.
But the real path to freedom is redirection.
Think about it:
Release is about getting rid of tension.
Redirection is about using that tension as fuel.
The anxiety, the frustration, the discomfort — they’re not enemies.
They’re invitations to rise.
You don’t need to escape them.
You need to channel them.
Why This Works
This isn’t just about white-knuckling it.
This is about learning to face reality instead of escaping it.
To let discomfort do its job — grow you, stretch you, reveal what’s real.
Most men try to fight off cravings like enemies.
But cravings are messengers.
They’re pointing to something deeper — a lack of engagement, purpose, or connection.
You don’t beat them by suppressing them.
You beat them by choosing to stay present, to feel the tension, and move with intention.
You’ve trained yourself to deal with discomfort by escaping.
Now we’re retraining you to respond to discomfort with action, courage, and service.
You feel pressure → You channel it
You feel anxiety → You move through it
You feel temptation → You choose discomfort that leads to life
That’s not willpower alone. That’s maturity.
It’s not white-knuckling. It’s walking in truth.
Your Challenge: Choose the Hard Thing
If you’re serious about getting free, here’s what I’d ask:
Brainstorm 10 ways you could give of yourself this week.
Ways that stretch you. Cost you. Require something from you.
Ideas:
Do a 24 hour fast
Have that uncomfortable conversation
Wake up earlier (and don’t snooze!)
Serve your wife or roommate without being asked
Volunteer somewhere inconvenient
Take a cold plunge or long walk when you want to escape
Replace a porn urge with 10 minutes of silence
Pick up a task you’ve been avoiding
Reach out to someone hurting
Pray instead of scroll
Then write 1-2 down and commit to them this week.
Final Word
If this hits home — if you're tired of the cycle and ready to build something stronger — we’re here to walk with you.
Schedule a free 30-minute discovery call with one of our coaches.
We’ll help you get clear on what’s really driving your behavior, and help map out a plan to move forward in strength and freedom.
Porn isn’t your biggest problem — comfort is.
You weren’t made to consume. You were made to contribute.
You don’t need release. You need redirection.
Don’t numb your fire. Aim it.