Why You Feel Lonely — And What to Do About It
The Real Cost of Disconnection (And How to Build Brotherhood Again)
Written by Joe Masek
“I’m surrounded by people… but I still feel lonely.”
“No one really knows me.”
“I feel like I’m doing life alone — even when I’m not technically alone.”
If you’ve ever felt that — you’re not broken.
You’re not weak.
You’re part of a generation of men facing what Scott Galloway calls “the most dangerous epidemic of our time”: male loneliness.
In his book Notes on Being a Man, Galloway lays out the harsh truth:
1 in 7 men have no close friends.
The average man’s number of close friends has dropped by 30% in the last 20 years.
Male suicide rates are 3.5x higher than women’s — and loneliness is one of the biggest predictors.
63% of men say they feel emotionally unsupported.
Let that sink in.
We’re living in a time where millions of men are silently suffering — with a smile on their face and no one who really knows what’s going on underneath.
And maybe you’re one of them.
Why Do So Many Men Feel Lonely?
If you feel lonely, it’s not because you’re failing.
It’s because the system around you is broken.
Here’s what’s making loneliness worse:
1. We were never taught how to bond emotionally.
Most men were taught to suppress emotions, not share them.
We learned that vulnerability = weakness. So we became masters of performance — and strangers to intimacy.
2. We lack “tribal” spaces.
In previous generations, men had built-in brotherhood: guilds, churches, local communities, team sports, rites of passage. Today, we live isolated lives behind screens.
3. We replaced depth with distraction.
Endless scrolling, gaming, porn, and content consumption keep us entertained… but empty. We’re flooded with stimulation and starving for connection.
4. We’ve accepted surface-level relationships.
You can work with people for years and never really talk. You can be in a men’s group and never go deep. You can be married and still feel totally alone.
The Hidden Cost of Loneliness
Loneliness doesn’t just make you feel bad.
It wreaks havoc on your:
Brain – Chronic loneliness downregulates dopamine and oxytocin. You feel less reward, less drive, less joy.
Body – Studies show it increases inflammation, weakens your immune system, and shortens lifespan more than smoking.
Spirit – Loneliness erodes your sense of meaning. You start to believe the lie that you don’t matter.
Scott Galloway puts it bluntly:
“A lack of deep male friendships is literally killing men.”
But here’s the good news:
You can change this.
You don’t have to stay stuck in isolation.
You can build a brotherhood — one choice at a time.
What to Do If You Feel Lonely
Here’s what we’ve seen work — both in the research and on the ground with thousands of men in our Freedom Groups:
1. Stop waiting to be chosen — go first.
Don’t wait for someone to invite you deeper. Be the guy who texts, who checks in, who initiates. Real friendship takes risk.
Text someone today: “Hey bro, I’ve been wanting to connect more intentionally. Want to grab coffee or hit a workout this week?”
2. Do hard things with other men.
Bonding is built shoulder to shoulder.
Join a group. Train together. Go on a retreat. Confess what’s real. Do something that costs you comfort.
(That’s literally why we created Freedom Groups: real men, showing up weekly, telling the truth, doing the work.)
3. Name what you’re feeling.
Loneliness hides in silence. Start by saying it out loud — to yourself, to God, to a brother.
You’ll be shocked how many other men say, “Me too.”
4. Trade isolation for formation.
Don’t just hang out. Get in environments where men are being formed.
You don’t just need friends — you need brothers.
Brothers who will help you heal.
Brothers who will call you up.
Brothers who will walk into fire with you.
Final Word: Brotherhood is Your Birthright
If you feel lonely, hear this:
You were made for communion.
Not content. Not achievement. Not just survival.
Communion.
God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” That wasn’t just about marriage — it was about design.
Men thrive when we are seen, challenged, supported, and loved.
If you feel lonely — it’s not the end of the story.
It’s the beginning of your return to wholeness.
Ready to Fight Loneliness for Good?
Here’s what you can do right now:
✅ Take the Craving Assessment
→ Understand what’s really driving your loneliness and addictive habits.
Take it here
✅ Join a Freedom Group
→ Meet weekly with other men walking toward freedom, brotherhood, and emotional healing.
Apply now
✅ Book a Call With Our Team
→ Let’s talk about your story and find the best next step for you.
Schedule here
You don’t have to do this alone.
You were never meant to.