Where to Make Friends (Especially as a Grown Man)
“I don’t really have any close friends.”
“I hang out with people… but I don’t really feel known.”
“I’ve changed a lot, and now I don’t know where I fit.”
If any of that resonates — you’re not alone.
In fact, if you’re a man in your 20s or 30s, it’s statistically normal.
A recent Harvard study found that over half of young adults report feeling lonely most of the time. Even among Christian men, the majority say they don’t have a single close male friend they can talk to about their struggles.
So if you’ve been asking “Where do I even make friends anymore?” — this post is for you.
Let’s dig into why it’s so hard… and where to go from here.
Why You’re Struggling to Make Friends
Before we talk about where — we need to understand why it’s gotten so hard.
Here are 4 core reasons modern men feel isolated:
1. We moved away from childhood friends.
College, jobs, marriage, and moving across states cut off the easy connections we once had.
2. We’re burned by shallow friendships.
You can play video games or grab drinks with guys for years… and still never talk about anything real. Eventually, the soul hungers for more.
3. We’re afraid of vulnerability.
We’ve been told, “Don’t be needy. Don’t be too much. Don’t show weakness.”
So we keep our guard up. We perform. We isolate.
4. We’re not in formation-based communities.
Most adult spaces today are social not formational — you gather, but you don’t grow. The result? You still feel unknown and unchanged.
The Real Question Isn’t “Where Do I Make Friends?”
The real question is:
Where can I go to be known, challenged, and called up into who I’m meant to be?
Because you don’t just need company.
You need brotherhood.
That’s the kind of connection that helps you:
Get honest about the cravings you hide
Train your body, mind, and spirit for freedom
Speak the truth about your story
Feel safe enough to weep and bold enough to fight
Follow Christ with consistency and fire
So let’s answer the original question with some clarity and conviction:
5 Places to Make Real Friends (Not Just Casual Acquaintances)
1. Men’s Formation Groups
This is why we created Freedom Groups.
Most Christian men don’t need another small group. They need a training ground for wholeness — where men are showing up, taking responsibility for their cravings, owning their stories, and walking in freedom.
Where to find this:
👉 Join a Freedom Group — we offer coaching, small group cohorts, and in-person intensives.
2. Church Ministries (If You Go Deeper Than Just Attending)
Sunday morning isn’t enough. But when you say yes to a men's retreat, serve team, or discipleship group — and actually show up vulnerably — deep bonds form fast.
Where to find this:
Ask your church about men’s groups, retreats, or ways to serve alongside other men. Look for events where challenge + community meet.
3. Shared-Sacrifice Environments
Men bond best shoulder to shoulder, not face to face.
That means doing hard things together. Things like:
Rucking or training together
Cold plunges / sauna sessions
Service projects
Multi-day hikes or pilgrimages
Mission trips
Prayer + fasting challenges
Where to find this:
Search for local faith-based fitness groups (e.g. F3, Exodus 90), volunteer at recovery ministries, or join one of our upcoming Outbound trips.
4. Start Something Yourself
If you can’t find the thing you need — build it.
Invite 2–3 men over. Share where you’re really at. Ask real questions. Do something physical together. Make it consistent.
Friendship isn’t found — it’s forged.
Where to start:
We’ve created frameworks to help you launch your own Craving-Free cohort, men’s night, or firepit crew. Reach out if you want one.
5. Places You’re Already Going… But With Intention
You don’t need a whole new social calendar — you just need to show up differently in the places you’re already in.
The gym. Work. Church. A family group chat.
Start inviting men into deeper conversation.
Ask:
“How are you really doing?”
“What are you struggling with lately?”
“Where do you want to grow?”
You’d be shocked how many men are craving the same thing — but no one’s had the courage to break the surface.
Final Thought: The Friends You Want Are Formed in the Fire
The friendships you long for are possible.
But they don’t come from casual hangs.
They come from:
Going first
Speaking honestly
Showing up consistently
Doing hard things together
Fighting for your own freedom
And helping others do the same
Jesus didn’t just call followers. He called brothers.
And the same invitation is open to you.
So if you’re looking for friends, ask yourself:
“Where am I willing to be seen, stretched, and sharpened by other men?”
Because that’s where brotherhood begins.
Next Step: Want to find a group of men pursuing real freedom?
👉 Take our Craving Assessment
👉 Join a Freedom Group
👉 Book a Call with a Coach
You don’t need to fight alone anymore.
We’ll meet you in the fire — and walk with you into freedom.